A Bowl of RyC: The Writer

I write, but I’m no writer.

I was never been a very vocal person.  I’ve never been the witty, quick response type of person that everyone seems to adore or be charmed about easily, I’m very shy and I’ve been told before that I come out as if I’m a snob or a bitch at first impression, lol.    If anything, I’ve always been a very analytical person.  I almost always have to take a step back, watch, observe, learn, take a subject or a matter and always have to take a look at it in at least 2 different perspectives, it’s almost I can’t just simply take one side or the other at an instant, I always have to weigh in each side before taking anything into complete consideration.  “What is the most sensible or logical way to go about each matter?” is the first constant question I take to account.

I have always been this way, I think perhaps due to for a long period in time growing up having to be away from parents and older siblings and left in the care of Aunts and Uncles, learning and being taught different ways of discipline, way of thinking, way of mannerism and way of behaving.  As a kid growing up, I can’t help but to think about all these lessons I’ve learned at all times and it got a bit overwhelming and confusing at times, so I mostly kept to myself, fearing at times that I might not be doing or saying the right things. As all these thoughts flowed and build up it got overwhelming and I needed an outlet to get all these thoughts out.  So, I wrote them all down for myself.

I’ve written numerous articles and press releases for a few magazines and websites for the United States Touring Car Championship (www.ustcc.com),  it kind of fell on to my lap.  Yeah ok, I got paid some which was pretty cool, my work were published and printed, some are credited, but NO I’m no writer by all means, I'm no Pro either.  I started out just as a pit crew flunky for the racing team I’m part of, it’s just so happen that my racing team boss who’s an associated press member, automobile & motorsports journalist himself, and who happens to be also the race series’ founder & director asked me to do a simple press release and everything else was history from then on.  I’ll be honest, I don’t even consider myself as a full-fledged “writer”, oh god knows, I barely squeeked by in my writing class in college, I had great scores for my thoughts & contents on essays and other writing assignments, but my outline, structure and most of all my grammar sucked @$$, my teachers throughout high school and college would give me slacks to get my re-write done a number of times before they accept my final draft, it’s funny it’s almost as if they’ve become my editor.  I tend to be redundant, repetitive, wrong word spelling here and there, punctuations are out of place or none at all and my sentences are almost always run on sentences.  If there’s one thing I think I’m pretty solid in writing, it would be I’m more of a free writer, when you just let yourself flow with what you write about, maybe that’s why I’m pretty drawn to wanting to do blogs.  Maybe because I can just be free on whatever I feel like writing. 

Here’s a funny story, back in the days, when I was young, I didn’t know how to approach a girl I liked and she actually liked me back, just being who I am and not really knowing how to approach a girl, which I can honestly say up to this day, I’m still don’t know how or not sure how, so back then instead of approaching her and just talk to her, I wrote this 5-page letter expressing all this thoughts and feelings I had for her and I guess it was a bit much that I can only assume that I’m pretty sure it would be overwhelming for any girl or any person as a matter of fact to grasp on what the hell I’d just professed to her on paper, so it backed fired and she didn’t liked me anymore.  I guess she probably thought I was such a weirdo for that letter, lol.  Anyways, a few years later when we was a bit older, the same girl approached me about the same letter and how she finally understood what I meant by the letter, I’m not going to spill on the contents, I wouldn’t remember what I wrote anyway, but she thanked me for the letter, she thanked me and said it made her a better person to handle her relationships and that if I wasn’t with someone at the time and if she wasn’t with someone either, that it would have been something to give it a try a relationship with me and my only thought at the time, “Great timing Woman!!” lol.  Oh well, no regrets, but I do wonder whatever happened to her.  I guess I’ll just chalk that one up in my “A Reason, A Season and A Lifetime”.

Okay, this entry is running pretty long, so I guess, I’ll wrap it up here. 

So, final thought, No I’m not a writer.  I just write.  Mostly for myself, if you happen to be reading this, I hope your having a good laugh.