2011 NITTO Tire USTCC Round 1 - Thunderhill Raceway (Willows, Ca.) - 04/16-04/17

2011 NITTO Tire USTCC Round 1 - Thunderhill Raceway (Willows, Ca.) - 04/16-04/17, a set on Flickr.

A Bowl of RyC - The Photographer/Photojournalist

stay tune for the blog.

A Bowl of RyC: Ryan, the DJ, But He Begs to Differ

Me? A DJ? I beg to differ.

I mix, but I do not really consider myself as DJ.  I’m not quite sure how to elaborate that, but I’ll give it a shot.

Have you ever heard the question, “What is a DJ if he can’t scratch”?  Well, I could also flip the table and ask, “What is a DJ if he can’t Mix?”

Well, I can scratch a bit, well less than a bit, I think, LOL! But I’m more of a blender/mixer than the later.  I try to tell a bit of a story when I mix, try to put together a theme.   You probably won’t notice when you listen to it.

I don’t even dub or introduce myself as DJ RyC or what so ever, just simply RyC.  If someone doesn’t know my story and just refers to me or introduces me as DJ Ryan or DJ RyC, oh well, I’m not going to stop them in the middle of it.  But personally, I don’t really prefer to be “DJ” Ryan or RyC.  Just “RyC” is fine, thank you.  I may perhaps sometime introduce myself as “Hi, I’m Ryan, your DJ for the night”, but never “Hi, I’m DJ Ryan”.

Let me start of by telling you a bit on how I got started, it’s quite of a blur to me really, but I’ll tell you the story the best I can.  Well, it’s just so happened that both my oldest brother’s were once upon a time both a DJ, one was a member of a group that pioneered the evolution of a Mobile DJ Crew.   With my refusal to claim to fame, I shall not name the group *winks.   I never really thought much of being a DJ or the whole scene really, it was just something I just knew already and got accustomed to at an early age.  Starting off with my oldest brother, he once tagged me along and sneak me in to the clubs and had me help him carry his records, I would hide out in the booth, sometimes even falling asleep until it’s time to go home, he thought me the first two songs I ever mixed and blended together, It was Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” and “Together Forever”.  While my second oldest brother on the other hand was living it up with his crew, from what I gathered in all the stories, he was mostly doing the whole Hypeman/MC side of things and occasional impromptu human beatbox performances.

Throughout Junior High and High School, while some of my friends, acquaintances and classmates were getting into groups or some forming their own DJ crew, I never stopped to think about joining either, in fact I rarely talked about my own experience and exploits in the DJ scenes.  But I remember back in school I used to be able sneak into the bars and clubs that so happen I know someone DJ’ing that night so easy carrying my own stack of vinyl records and tell the doorman “I’m with the DJ” and/or “I’m a guest DJ” and I was only in my teens. lol.  Then if I knew the DJ spinning I would just hide out in the DJ booth and just watch and listen to homie at work.  But even then it was all just fun and games and didn’t really think any of it.  I would mix for myself now and then if I felt like it.  Whenever there’s an opportunity to get on the turntables to mess around, I’d get on it. 

At some point I sold my gear and never really thought about it again, until 1998 when I met my boy Nelson aka DJ NTAK, we hit it off and got the talking about DJ’ing, we shared stories, etc.  One story he told was, how he used to try blend and mix songs with one of those double cassette decks.  lol.  I thought that was pretty dope.  Anyway, we got the talking about how he and I should start our own group together, so thus we formed “Unique Stylez Productions” we started doing frat house parties and fund raiser events for his cousin fraternity @ Cal state Hayward.   Somewhere in between life happens and series of events that some highs and lows, fortunately lots of highs, I rather not mention the lows, but definitely keeping the highs for myself for now.  After all this time, somehow someway Nelson and I always revert back to “Unique Stylez”, some water under the bridge and the rest to legend and history. lol.

To tell a bit about my DJ influences and pay regular homage to, I’ll sum it up to 5 before  I run this blog entry too long, counting down starting from 5 ---

5.  E-Rock – personally, I definitely like his style, he’s very versatile, but I definitely love his big room sound style, he’s a major player in the club scene locally and nationally, he can mix from top 40s, house, electro even to trance and just makes the dance floor hop at any given night, he’s a regular in one of the SF Bay Area’s major local radio station, although I don’t listen much radio anymore, I do have a couple of his mixes on my portable media player’s playlist.  He’s definitely someone’s mixes I listen to on a constant basis.

4.  Rectangle – a Los Angeles based DJ turned Hip-Hop/R&B record producer, who now lives in Vegas, started out as a Battle/Turntablist DJ, was a DMC finalist a number of times, losing one year to Q-Bert, then finally capturing the crown in another year, then went on tour as a DJ for rapper Warren G, whom he himself was once upon a time was a DJ.  Rectangle definitely has a style beyond compare, how he incorporated his freestyle scratching and sampling in his Mix CDs and Mix Volumes.  He’s style is pre-dominantly Hip-Hop/R&B but he definitely brings a distinct style in to mixing.

3.  MajestiChris – A San Francisco Bay Area based DJ, not only well known for his radio exploits on Clear Channel’s Wild 94.9, but he definitely has a mark in the night life scene in the Bay Area, He happens to be my best friend’s cousin, he’s not that much older than us, but I grew up listening to him on the radio and later I was fortunate enough to be able to enjoy his mix styling at a few clubs he worked at.  He’s very versatile also, but one thing he was able to compare and contrast being a Radio DJ versus a Club DJ is that on the Radio you have to play what’s requested and have to sell your soul a little for the sake of the request and what’s warranted by the Radio Station and record companies to be played on the air, unlike being in the Club, albeit you still get some request, but you’re still free to express your style of mixing.

2.  Chris the Rebel – from mobile to radio to clubs, he is legend.  How can I elaborate on him? One of the big name DJs bred from Spintronix.  Grew up listening to him also, on the radio, was able to check him out in a few clubs he worked at, he was out of radio for a bit locally, from what I gathered he was somewhere else on the air with one of the radio affiliates, but now back locally on the air w/ Movin 99.7 and a number of the hottest clubs in town.

1.  Dino Rivera – OG Spintronix, definitely my number one influence and definitely I can chalk up as my idol as a DJ, not only he’s one of my big bro’s long time and childhood best friends, but he’s the one I really if any try to mimic my style of mixing from.  From 70’s Disco, 80’s New Wave, Freestyle, Dance, Neo Disco, Top 40s, Old & New School Hip Hop & R&B.  He definitely have a separation in style, for me personally, I prefer to listen to something more really groovin’, it’s not all about the hyped up club bangers all the time.  I like the fact that I can listen to his mixes whenever and wherever, it brings me back to days I cherish, in the car cruising or whatever and I can just sway and groove to it, even sing-a-long.  Perhaps only me, but I've noticed a certain theme to his mixes.  His style is a little lays tracks with a bit of old and a little bit of new that can bring generations together if you’re really into the music, it transcends lines, he can lay a track that you wouldn’t expect and make a group sway, line dance and/or cha-cha  to.  I still have one of his mix cds as one of my priced cd possession.  I never told him this, but recently I had the honor of working with him where he MC’d my baby bro’s wedding while Nelson and I were the DJs, well I was mostly the photographer that night, lol.  I was a bit awed at his presence and made me nervous at the same time having to spin in his presence. lol.


When I record my mixes I try to go for a theme, per say if i'm mixing songs, I'd pick out the ones that pertains to a certain subject such as love, hearth aches and breaks and about living it up and party, and not necessarily refers to myself, but some does refers to what I'm feeling or thinking of the time, sorta living vicariously through what the songs relayed and in hopes my listener would feel and could relate also, so I'd compile and mix'em all in one set.

So to sum up, those are my top 5 DJ influences, but if anything, before all these DJ thing came about, I never really thought much about it until Nelson came along, He’s the one that truly lit the fire in me to DJ, it’s the one thing that I think always ties us together well at least on my part and he’s the one that constantly pushes me to do better on my mixes and step it up.  There’s a distinct style in our mixes, he’s definitely way ahead of me and I always defer to him, at the same time I always try to bring a different twist in to each our sets, thus why we dubbed ourselves “Unique Stylez”.  Not really because we think we’re truly unique from the rest of the DJs out there, but how we are unique from each other in our own right.  Hey we’re from the SF Bay Area, where DJs are bred every day.  The Bay in my own opinion is the DJ capital of the world. lol. But I know that’s debatable, but just look into the big name DJs you know or might know of, then tell me where they from? And let me just drop one name, Q-Bert, enough said.  

So here’s the story, in my own opinion I’m not a DJ for a number of reasons and I’m not speaking for everyone that DJs and I’m not implying that I perceive them as not a DJ because of how I personally view myself as not a “DJ”, so let me try to breakdown the main ones.

1.       DJ’ing is something I do on the side or supplemental income, It’s not what I do for a living or income.  I do it for fun, for kicks and most of all for love, it’s a passion, but not to extent where I breath, sleep, eat DJing.  I mix because I enjoy music, I love that I’m able and capable to compile music together and blend them in continues medley.   I’m blessed that I was exposed to it at a young age and fell in love with it, it’s like second nature to me, just because I can ride a bicycle doesn’t mean I’d call myself bicyclist, right? lol.

2.       A DJ are the mobile, bar, lounge, club or radio DJs this is what they do, night in and night out, during the day this is still what they do, they work and prepare their music that they’ll be playing night in and night out.  I’ve done the mobile, lounge and club, ok I’ll admit.  But the lounge, bar and/or club, I was never a headliner or the main DJ, always on rotation as a “support DJ” mainly the guy that starts off the night and rotates in for the main DJ for breaks. lol

3.       Even the DJs I know or know of that DJs at the clubs and radio and they have a regular day jobs, in my own opinion they are still entitled to the title “DJ” for they’ve been in the circle for so long and they got  the name and recognition.  Yeah ok, I’ve gotten recognition some, but often enough they don’t even remember the name. lol

4.       I’ve never been in any DJ competition, e.g. DMC DJ competition.  I’ve never been in any kind of DJ competition in any level.

Those are my few top reasons why I personally don’t consider myself as a “DJ”.  Actually if anything if the label “DJ” is to be insisted upon me, then I would have to classify what kind of DJ I would be.  I have my own different classifications of DJs.  I tried the classification and categorized the different type of DJs before, but I got too detailed and the different classification ran too long, so hopefully this time I can narrow it down to a few and makes sense ---

1.     Freestyle DJs – they’re the battle DJs, the ones that competes in the DJ battle competitions such as DMC World DJ Competition, they’re heavy in the scratching and sampling to which they almost create their own music out of the scratch effects and sampling.  Fine example would be the likes of Streak, Shortkut, Rectangle and the world renowned, the one and only Q-Bert.

2.     Hypeman DJ s – DJs that can rock the mic to hype the crowd in clubs at the same time and of course well known and has worked with big name artists in their concerts.  e.g. Tayjames, DJ Khaled and Fatman Scoop to name a few well known Hypeman DJs and still rock the 1’s and 2’s.

3.    Recording DJ – I put David Guetta, Earworm, Rectangle in this category.  David Guetta is a DJ by origin, mixing the clubs, radio etc., but now he’s made remixes and recorded original music with artists such as Flo Rida, Estelle and Kelly Rowland to name a few. 

4.    Headline DJs – they are the ones that are popular by demand DJs, they go all over the place to DJ at big time clubs, events and concerts.  To name a few like E-Rock, Rectangle, Earworm. 

Earworm is a UK based DJ as far as I know made his fame for his song and video mash-ups particularly with his series of “United States of POP” where he sampled and mashed the most popular songs of the year into one single track song mix. 

But let’s just take E-Rock for example, a San Francisco Bay Area based DJ who had roots in the Radio & Club scene locally now travels to big time clubs all over the country to spin either through radio affiliates or just by request by these big time clubs.  He’s most frequent travel rotation to spin is San Francisco, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, New York and Miami, the top 5 places with most hyped, trendy, chic club and parties.  Did I mention Miami?

5.     Radio DJs – Radio DJs has come a long way since the days of Wolfman Jack, where back in the days all the Wolfman did was talked about the new single, took request and played the song for you.  Radio has evolved so much that the “Radio DJ” has split in to a few jobs within the radio, but let’s high light two separate jobs, a “Radio Personality” and the just the “DJ”. The “Radio Personality” is pretty much the host of the show, the talking head that does all the yappin’ and while the “DJ” gets about an average 15-30 minute segments where he/she does continues mix of the hottest or most requested songs at the time being with an occasional throw in of some instant classic jams.  Most of the time the “DJ” is regular or headlining DJ at a local popular club and pretty much on the radio airwaves to continue its connection of his/her radio station’s listenership to his/her club spot, which brings me to the next category, e.g. J Espinoza, MajestiChris, Chris the Rebel to name a few.

6.    Club DJs – In my own opinion, the most popular DJs are Club DJs.  It’s a totally different environment the night life scene really is, these guys and gals club DJs have their own following, where ever the DJ is spinning, their fans and club goers will follow. 

If you really want to hear the best Mix DJs, hit the clubs.  If you’re a club owner, you want these DJs at your joint rockin’ the crowd.  It is in no surprise why some of the local radio “DJs” mix it up at the local popular clubs and vice versa to where the big name club DJs gets hired or at least gets invited on the radio to mix it up in for the airwaves.  And of course there’s the whole trying to constantly expand the fan base and listenership for both side of the parties, the radio and the DJ.   It’s a symbiotic promotion.  Radio DJs with the likes of J Espinoza, MajestiChris and Chris the Rebel, to name a few that definitely has deep rooted fan base in both club scene and radio.

7.    Mobile DJs – at one point or another all DJs has to start somewhere before they made a name for themselves.  Some are now on their own and some still with or still represent their Mobile DJ Crew/Group even now that they’re well known and has hit big time, e.g. Chris the Rebel of Spintronix, 106 KMEL, KYLD Wild 107/94.9, Movin 99.7 and Rick “The Dragon” Lee of SBC DJs, 106 KMEL. 

Mobile DJs has come a long way from a tuxedo wearing DJ at your mom and dad’s wedding, albeit there are still a lot of Tuxedo DJs around, providing service and thriving.  But in the mid to late 80’s, the Mobile DJ has evolved to more than just some old foggy wearing a tux fading in and fading out music for you at your sweet 16, quinciniera, debutant ball, bar mitzvah and/or wedding. 

Mobile DJs brings the party to you with a bang.  Mobile DJ Crew/Group provides the whole package.  They can bring the club or discotheque vibe environment and atmosphere event in to your living room with the lights and sounds packages at their disposal.  It’s no longer just private party events.  Corporate and even Fortune 500 companies demands for Mobile DJs at their corporate events.   To many DJs, Mobile is their bread & butter, because the big bucks is at mobile gigs, after many times of low balling yourself at the beginning to get your name out there, once you persevere and the demand for your service high, the big bucks is in order.

Starting out in a Mobile DJ Crew/Group is a great training ground for those who has aspiration to be a DJ for a long time.  Or just a training ground to be a DJ, period. 

Now that I categorized some of the different types of DJ in my own opinion, I don’t really fit myself in any of them or at least one of them.  lol.  FAILED!

I mix, but in any means, I’m not a “DJ”.  I don’t have any specific genre or style of way of DJ’ing really, I mix, I think that’s all that matters and I enjoy it and hopefully people that gets to listen and dance to my mix enjoys it.

A Bowl of RyC: The Writer

I write, but I’m no writer.

I was never been a very vocal person.  I’ve never been the witty, quick response type of person that everyone seems to adore or be charmed about easily, I’m very shy and I’ve been told before that I come out as if I’m a snob or a bitch at first impression, lol.    If anything, I’ve always been a very analytical person.  I almost always have to take a step back, watch, observe, learn, take a subject or a matter and always have to take a look at it in at least 2 different perspectives, it’s almost I can’t just simply take one side or the other at an instant, I always have to weigh in each side before taking anything into complete consideration.  “What is the most sensible or logical way to go about each matter?” is the first constant question I take to account.

I have always been this way, I think perhaps due to for a long period in time growing up having to be away from parents and older siblings and left in the care of Aunts and Uncles, learning and being taught different ways of discipline, way of thinking, way of mannerism and way of behaving.  As a kid growing up, I can’t help but to think about all these lessons I’ve learned at all times and it got a bit overwhelming and confusing at times, so I mostly kept to myself, fearing at times that I might not be doing or saying the right things. As all these thoughts flowed and build up it got overwhelming and I needed an outlet to get all these thoughts out.  So, I wrote them all down for myself.

I’ve written numerous articles and press releases for a few magazines and websites for the United States Touring Car Championship (www.ustcc.com),  it kind of fell on to my lap.  Yeah ok, I got paid some which was pretty cool, my work were published and printed, some are credited, but NO I’m no writer by all means, I'm no Pro either.  I started out just as a pit crew flunky for the racing team I’m part of, it’s just so happen that my racing team boss who’s an associated press member, automobile & motorsports journalist himself, and who happens to be also the race series’ founder & director asked me to do a simple press release and everything else was history from then on.  I’ll be honest, I don’t even consider myself as a full-fledged “writer”, oh god knows, I barely squeeked by in my writing class in college, I had great scores for my thoughts & contents on essays and other writing assignments, but my outline, structure and most of all my grammar sucked @$$, my teachers throughout high school and college would give me slacks to get my re-write done a number of times before they accept my final draft, it’s funny it’s almost as if they’ve become my editor.  I tend to be redundant, repetitive, wrong word spelling here and there, punctuations are out of place or none at all and my sentences are almost always run on sentences.  If there’s one thing I think I’m pretty solid in writing, it would be I’m more of a free writer, when you just let yourself flow with what you write about, maybe that’s why I’m pretty drawn to wanting to do blogs.  Maybe because I can just be free on whatever I feel like writing. 

Here’s a funny story, back in the days, when I was young, I didn’t know how to approach a girl I liked and she actually liked me back, just being who I am and not really knowing how to approach a girl, which I can honestly say up to this day, I’m still don’t know how or not sure how, so back then instead of approaching her and just talk to her, I wrote this 5-page letter expressing all this thoughts and feelings I had for her and I guess it was a bit much that I can only assume that I’m pretty sure it would be overwhelming for any girl or any person as a matter of fact to grasp on what the hell I’d just professed to her on paper, so it backed fired and she didn’t liked me anymore.  I guess she probably thought I was such a weirdo for that letter, lol.  Anyways, a few years later when we was a bit older, the same girl approached me about the same letter and how she finally understood what I meant by the letter, I’m not going to spill on the contents, I wouldn’t remember what I wrote anyway, but she thanked me for the letter, she thanked me and said it made her a better person to handle her relationships and that if I wasn’t with someone at the time and if she wasn’t with someone either, that it would have been something to give it a try a relationship with me and my only thought at the time, “Great timing Woman!!” lol.  Oh well, no regrets, but I do wonder whatever happened to her.  I guess I’ll just chalk that one up in my “A Reason, A Season and A Lifetime”.

Okay, this entry is running pretty long, so I guess, I’ll wrap it up here. 

So, final thought, No I’m not a writer.  I just write.  Mostly for myself, if you happen to be reading this, I hope your having a good laugh. 

A Bowl of RyC: Ryan A Bowl At A Time

So, I've decided to make a series of blogs with a title heading of "A Bowl of RyC". 


I'll be looking back on things I used to and currently do and share about it.  It will be a series of bits and pieces of little stories and facts about myself. 


Let's see how it goes...

REMIXED: "Always Plan to be Surprised"

not everything in life are meant to be understood, for the same reasons that tragedies happens for a reason. the only thing we need to understand is that things will happen and will keep happening whether we like it or not and there's nothing we can really do about it, but to brace ourselves to whatever may come. embrace whatever it is that is given to us. expect the worst and hope for the best. if you feel you need to plan things out for the rest of your life, list one thing, always plan to be surprised.

on the other hand, live life with this simple credo, destiny is not ALWAYS a matter of chance, but a matter of choice, for the choices we make dictates the life we lead. ultimately the choice is yours, your life is yours, "to thy own self be true" Polonius said. 

don't take life too serious all the time for it will cease to be funny, but then again the best parts of a comedy are the serious parts. be it, be about it, live life accordingly for it's "seriously funny"

RyC's Current Anthem

Price Tag by Jesse J featuring B.o.B. 

"...playing for love tonight... just want the world to dance..."

I must admit, this song is my current anthem.  As a DJ, it brings me back to simpler days when, I mix to simply mix for the love of it and to see everyone just having a good time and dance.  No worries about money, of course playing for fees is always nice, but I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from though, right? No stress of making sure to fill a club floor, making sure everyone is entertained and satisfied, just good'ol fun, everyone gets together, enjoy each other's company and dance.  And most of all none of the jealous BF/GF drama that you have to resort to having to get security/bouncer to get'em out of the joint.


I really like to just be able to just jam and put together some mixes and leave it all on the dance floor for everyone to dance. Is that too much to ask?


Anyway, about the song, in general, it pretty much sums it all, about having a price tag, etc.  As far as DJing, I mainly DJ for the love of it first and foremost, don't get me wrong, getting paid to DJ is great, getting paid for something I love to do anyway, how can you beat that?  It's not about the fame or recognition either, because I personally don't like the attention either, but it is simply nice to at least be thanked for or a simple gesture or compliment like, "Yo! your mix set was pretty dope."


I'd take that any day or night, rather than this one time for example, kickin' it at club with a few friends and a group of gals was like I guess recognized me and was like hovering around, until one of the gals approached me out of nowhere and ask if she could take a picture with me.  I was surprised and flattered of course, but at the the same time oblivious to what's going on and why the heck was this girl asking to take a picture of me and all all I could think of is that some 21 something girls, first time in the club trying to pull some kind of prank on me, so why the hell not, I'll oblige.  The girl then thanked me and all she said you're that DJ at the club that I used to spin at, but she totally forgot my name.  How funny is that?  I don't really think much of it, but all I can really think of at the time was, "com'on?! you could've at least remember my name, why take a picture of me and not remember who you took a picture with? you're going to post it somewhere in one of your social networks and then what? Might as well not take a picture with me at all and just simply said, 'Hey you're that DJ right?'" LOL. Just sayin'. I don't response to flattery very well, but that was a pretty funny one for the ages. 

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime

This was shared to me a while back, not sure who wrote it, but it's pretty interesting, thought I'd share it and added my own take, your thoughts?

WHY ARE YOU IN MY LIFE... 

People come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME. When you figure out which it is, you’ll know exactly what to do. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But...only for a season, seasons do change they come and go as do people, including yourself, whether it maybe change of heart, change of mind, outlook or perspective, sometimes things change, fate may dictate this, it’s up to you/us to not let things slip away to make it a step closer to lifetime. ~ LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lessons, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. 

by Anonymous

If you really read into it some more, the writer was a bit defeatist on it, when in hind sight the 3 ensues each other, people come into your life for a reason, people will be who they are, they are what they are, acceptance is the key, they can be like seasons, they can be the winter you can't stand to bare, they're the spring that brings you joy and happiness, they're the summer in the winter that keeps you warm & gives you warmth, they're the beauty of autumn fall whenever days may seem gloomy, they become this ray of hope that somewhere behind those dark clouds, the sun is waiting to come out for better brighter days and if you keep to these mantra, keep true to this and to yourself, it is definitely a Lifetime you will have with you always, no matter the reason nor the season it may change to… things change, everything around us changes, people change, but we can not change them nor ask them to change, you should simply accept them for who they are, for they are perfect just the way they are... And if they’re only here for a reason or a season, if ever you were their true friend or if ever you truly love them, then you must always have the strength & courage to set them free with a bit of hope they’ll return back to you, whether as a friend or a lover, for a reason or for a season… be clairvoyant.

And if this is all true, then I’m a Reason, I’m a Season and I’m a Lifetime. choose none, choose one or choose all, that’s up to you and I can accept that. so once again, give me regrets, as long as I can keep all the good & great memories. so you may walk away from me today, you may forget me tomorrow, you may not even remember my name, I may even feel a bit of regret for letting you into my life, but rest assure I will have all these fond memories of you, whether good or bad and I will keep them to myself, in the far corners of my heart and mind, it will be all mine and no one can ever take that away from me, waiting for forever and a day, because in the end you were my friend once a upon a time. And if ever, things might come full circle, you’ll always have me as a friend.

Role of a Writer

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." -- Anaïs Nin

based on the quote above, there are so many things i want to say, but unable to say, neither the "writer" in me is unable to most of the time.

someone once said "don't let the pain you're going through define you" i kind of beg to differ, yes it shouldn't define you, but the feeling and experience through it all makes you who you are, depending on how you understand and accept it into your life and continue to grow, so in essence it does become part of the entire definition of who you are. the pain that you are going through is yours and yours alone.  whether in love, life, happiness, joy, pain and misery, inside it's all yours internally and eternally, find a way to embrace it, live with it to make you the better person than who you are each day, then no one can ever take that away from you.